No matter how good the relationship is between couples, quarrels cannot be avoided. Many quarrels are caused by small things and conflicts in life. The root cause of the quarrel is that one party is trying hard to persuade, but the other party is unwilling to give in.
Therefore, if you want to end the quarrel as soon as possible, either you must identify with the other party, or you must let the other party identify with you.
But the vast majority of people don’t want to be the one who compromises, which leads to the deepening of the conflict.
Below, I will teach you two methods to help you make the other party successfully agree with your point of view and avoid conflicts reasonably when you are quarreling.
1. Skip the attitude and change the behavior directly
Quarrel between lovers, if you want to change Regarding the other party's attitude, it is better to directly change the other party's behavior first.
For example, the other party always likes to delay everything they do, and many things are not completed in time. If you say at this time, "Can you stop being so procrastinating and inefficient and do something serious every day?"
Then this kind of rhetoric about changing the other party's "attitude" will not attract the other party's attention at all. , nor can it change the other party.
But what if you directly change the other person’s behavior?
Say to the other person while they are playing games: “I remember you have to submit a report next week, and it’s still early today. , why don’t you finish this game and write a little bit? Then you can have free time to play all day this weekend.”
This method is to prevent the other party from thinking rationally before they have time to think about it. , in fact, the other party's attitude has slowly changed towards the behavior you mentioned.
2. Use sharing instead of suppression
Many times, we want the other party to recognize us and choose to use Sharing is more effective than suppressing. When people are suppressed, their first reaction is to instinctively resist, but the way of sharing is more conducive to us assimilating it unconsciously.
So what is sharing and what is suppression?
For example, everyone can understand immediately: "I have a cake, I think it is delicious, so good It’s a pity that I’m the only one eating the cake, so you should try it too. “This is called sharing.
And "I can't eat this cake by myself, you come and eat it for me." This is called suppression.
Compared with the following, facing these two forms, which one will make you more willing to do it?
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Therefore, if you want the other person to recognize you and do as you say, don’t choose to suppress him, but learn to share with him.
For example, your partner never goes for a walk with you after dinner and always stays at home as soon as you are full, but you really want him to go with you.
At this time, you should say to him: "When I go for a run at night recently, I always encounter a lot of interesting things in the park, and I find that a good ice cream shop has opened near the park. They sell traditional Turkish ice cream. Do you want to come with me today?" Instead of saying to him: "Why are you so lazy, like a pig, you just eat when you are full. I'm paralyzed at home. I don't care, you have to go for a walk with me today!"
In this way, will the other party be more willing to accept your opinions and do what you want?
You must know that when quarrels occur in marriage and love, stupid people will fight against them, while smart people will think about the root cause of the quarrel and then use clever ways to resolve it.
Both love and marriage require us to work hard, understand the rules for getting along between the sexes, and learn the skills to communicate with others, so that your intimate relationship will get better and better.
