Quarrels between couples are a common phenomenon, and in quarrels, both parties tend to blame each other and tend to forget the good things about each other. There are some psychological reasons and human weaknesses hidden behind this phenomenon.
1. Disputes lead to emotional out-of-control
When couples have a dispute, both parties often fall into a state of emotional out-of-control. state. At this time, they may say some words that hurt the other person, or even blame the other person for their dissatisfaction and anger. In this case, people are more likely to focus on the other person's shortcomings and mistakes, while ignoring the other person's strengths and benefits.
For example, when a person feels wronged or hurt, he may respond with accusations and attacks. Such a reaction prevents him from seeing the good things the other person has done in the past and can only focus on the current contradictions and conflicts.
2. Self-protection mechanism
In quarrels, people often activate their self-protection mechanism. They try to relieve themselves of the burden and guilt by shifting the blame onto the other person. This mechanism makes it easier for people to forget the good things about the other person because they want to blame the other person for their mistakes and faults.
For example, when a person realizes that he or she has made a mistake or behaved inappropriately, he or she may try to deflect attention by blaming the other person. This way, he is freed from his guilt and does not have to face his fault.
3. Memory bias
People are often affected by memory bias in arguments. They are more likely to remember the faults and mistakes of the other party and ignore the good and positive aspects of the other party. This is because negative events tend to be more significant and memorable than positive ones.
For example, if a person was hurt in an argument, he is likely to remember the incident and make it difficult to forget. However, even before the argument, the other person has done many good things, but these positive events are easily forgotten.
4. Pay attention to immediate interests
In quarrels, people tend to pay more attention to immediate interests and satisfaction. They may ignore the good and good qualities of the other person in order to win the argument.
For example, when a person argues with another person over his or her own point of view, he or she may disregard the other person's benefits and strengths. In this case, he paid more attention to his own rights and positions, and forgot the support and help the other party had given him.
5. Psychological balance
People often hope to find a psychological balance in quarrels. They try to balance their emotions and inner insecurity by blaming the other person.
For example, when a person feels wronged or hurt, he may try to restore his dignity and balance by blaming the other person. This way, he can escape his negative emotions and not have to face his weaknesses and mistakes.
Conclusion
Quarrel between lovers is a common phenomenon, and in the quarrel, both parties tend to blame each other and forget the good things about each other. This is due to the influence of disputes leading to emotional loss, self-protection mechanisms, memory biases, emphasis on immediate interests and psychological balance. Understanding these psychological reasons can help us handle arguments better and maintain respect and understanding for the other person.
