After many couples spend their passionate love period, various conflicts are exposed. They often quarrel over various trivial matters, which makes both parties very tired. Although they want to break up, they are reluctant to let go when they think of the past. This is the situation between Ronaldinho and his girlfriend:
"You don’t even think about who it was that wanted to be with you in the first place. We were together and had a falling out with my family. I followed you all the way here, and now you tell me that you have to wait for the marriage. Do you have any conscience?"
"I just said wait a moment, not that I won't marry you. Look at how you look like this, how are you different from those shrews on the street? I'm back to the company, so you can go to bed early."
Like this Arguments happen almost every once in a while between Ronaldinho and his girlfriend.
Ronaldinho thought about breaking up countless times, but every time he thought of the sacrifices and contributions his girlfriend had made for him, the breakup was put on hold and no further action was taken.
In life, there are too many people like Ronaldinho, who want to break up but are reluctant to let go, and it is really difficult to not break up. They often quarrel, have cold wars, and are in a dilemma whether to advance or retreat. What should we do?
1. Can’t find a better candidate
I once asked Ronaldinho if this paragraph The relationship really can't be maintained.
Why don't you make it clear? It's better to get together and part ways easily than to waste each other's youth.
"To be irresponsible, it's not that I don't want to break up, but I'm afraid that after we break up, I won't be able to find a better candidate."
Although Ronaldinho’s words are irresponsible, they are indeed one of the reasons why many people don’t want to leave a not-so-good relationship.
When you are in it, you will feel that although this relationship is not good enough, if you leave, the situation will only be worse.
2. Emotional input-output ratio
Compared with the uncertain gain later, the loss now will make you feel more painful, because human beings are born with a deep-rooted aversion to loss. plot.
When you enter a relationship, you will definitely have more or less investment. The greater the investment, the more you will think you have lost when the relationship breaks down.
Just like Ronaldinho and his girlfriend, do you think they really don’t want to break up? Is their love for each other really to the point where you won’t marry unless you’re your king, and you won’t marry if you’re not your queen?
No, they just don’t want to bear the pain of loss, and are reluctant to bear the sacrifices they have made over the years and this relationship.
When you are caught in this dilemma, you can only rely on yourself if you want to save your feelings.
3. Think clearly about what you want
Just like Ronaldinho, if he wants a stable marriage, then marry his girlfriend and be a good husband Responsibility.
If you want to develop your career and have no plans to get married in the short term, breaking up may not be a bad choice. It is much better than consuming each other now.
Sometimes, we are unable to make decisions because we lack awareness of the true needs of our hearts. Our true inner voices are drowned by the noise around us, and we struggle in pain.
Recognizing yourself is the way out of the fog. The first step.
4. Have the capital to choose
That is to improve your strength in the relationship.
Any relationship has an element of gaming. , a dilemma, in the final analysis, it is because you lack the confidence and capital to leave and break up.
Because you are still relying on this relationship, you cannot "find another way to make a living." Of course, improving one's own capital is not only about material improvement, but also spiritual and inner improvement. You don't have to change for the sake of change.
But even in an intimate relationship, you have to learn to be independent and try. As you get used to living alone, no matter how close you are, you are still two people. Since you are two people, you must be prepared for the possibility of separation in the future.
5. Become a better version of yourself
The idol drama version of love is difficult to appear in reality. It’s not that love is not good enough, but that reality is too cruel. , High expectations will only bring more disappointments.
You have to accept that you are just an ordinary person, and your partner is also an ordinary person.
, accepting each other's shortcomings and recognizing your own shortcomings is the key to a long-term relationship.
People will have dilemmas at every stage. The key is not which path you choose. , but how to go on well after you choose.
Please remember that only you are the protagonist of your life, and others are just accompanying you through this life.
