It is said that marriage is the tomb of love. Marriage will make love disappear. So why do so many people still get married?
Marriage is indeed the tomb of love, but without marriage, love will disappear. There will be no burial place before death, and the purpose of marriage has never been to preserve love.
The purpose of getting married is to have a life partner who can face the ups and downs of future life with you, take care of each other, and have a companion in your later years.
If you can’t even understand this, you will definitely not be able to manage your marriage well.
Choosing marriage is choosing a lifestyle. Of course, everyone can choose to be single for a lifetime, or to be with a lover. They have been living as a couple.
Every choice has advantages and ease, and each choice also has its own risks, as well as the pressure we need to bear and the consequences we need to bear.
If you feel that marriage is a binding relationship, it is a responsibility and obligation that you need to bear as a husband or wife. Then you can't just enjoy the benefits and benefits of this role without having to bear the sacrifices and compromises that this role requires.
But when you look at family integration and integration from this perspective, you will be very painful.
However, "sameness" is a blessing, and "difference" is inevitable. Marrying someone and integrating with each other's families requires a business mindset of seeking common ground while reserving differences.
In fact, your "unpleasant" feelings and "exhausted" feelings do not come from "difference", but from You both want to try your best to assimilate the other person.
You lack understanding and tolerance for each other’s ideas and needs. Of course, understanding and tolerance are not human instincts, and no one is born with it.
There is a Western proverb that goes well, "If you want to truly understand a person, you must first walk a mile in his shoes."
Your partner’s growth environment, the education he received since childhood, the establishment and impact of his experiences on his thinking concepts, and even the social environment of his family may all be related to your existence or Big or small differences.
Before you met, neither of you had worn the other person’s shoes, and neither of you had walked the other person’s path. It is normal not to understand the other person’s thoughts and needs.
Starting from the time you start a family, your differences will inevitably become apparent in your life.
At this time, two people need to have a positive attitude, aim to establish a common concept, and start by trying to understand each other. , tolerate different parts, and slowly form acceptance;
Then work out how to deal with specific thingsThe benign mechanism of conflicts and disagreements gradually creates concepts and consensus belonging to the new family.
Yes, a new family will grow, and it will not naturally be a towering tree that can provide shade for you.
It needs the couple to irrigate it, so that it can gradually break away from the support and influence of the original family and form a complete family function.
I hope that everyone can recognize their own needs and goals when choosing to enter or not to enter marriage, and can also be mentally prepared to deal with difficulties, operate with a positive attitude, and live up to themselves. life choices.
