When girls come to you to talk to you about their unhappy worries, it is actually a good time for you to strengthen contact and enhance your relationship. But if a girl only takes the initiative to find you when she has negative emotions and never takes the initiative to contact you, she may treat you as an emotional trash can. What should you do in this situation?
First of all, don’t enter the comfort mode easily!
This is the most common mistake that many otakus make. If girls show some unhappiness casually, they will Immediately there was an outpouring of "love". He tried his best to make the girl happy and wanted to know why she was unhappy, thinking that this was his chance to pick up the goddess. Especially when girls are falling out of love, this is simply the perfect "opportunity" to take advantage of.
The matter of comfort will inevitably require evaluation of the girl as a person and what she said, and may also require denunciation of other people she mentioned.
But we don’t know her specific situation, and we don’t know what the people she mentioned are about. It may be ridiculous in her opinion to evaluate and denounce others at will.
For example, if a girl quarreled with her best friend and came to take out the trash with you, you would criticize her randomly and say, "You are so stupid" and "She is really useless." But in fact, although she was very aggrieved verbally, she did not hate her best friend. Your seemingly righteous behavior actually exposed your strong need for her. Unknowingly telling her that you will agree with her, you will be brainless. Defend her.
Secondly, if a girl just comes to you to vent her sorrows, you will comfort her at every turn. This is the easiest way to be regarded as emotional garbage. Behavior. Because you have not exchanged value, and you will listen to whatever she says. What a perfect person to talk to, right? Then girls will develop the bad habit of crying to you all the time.
How to distinguish whether a girl is here to express her grievances or to express her grievances normally?
When a girl expresses her grievances, her focus is almost entirely on herself, and she will not care about your feelings. , nagging endlessly. Although she will ask you "What should I do" from time to time, she will reject any idea you give her, and she will tell you a reason why it won't work any way to solve the problem. She is very negative, and even if you say a few words to her, I want to vent my anger on you.
What should you do if you encounter a girl who complains about her? You cannot comfort her, but forbearance is not the answer. A girl can detect your impatience. She will think that you hate her and treat her badly, and then you will be negative. The emotions deepened further.
Therefore, diverting attention is the best solution.
For example, telling her jokes, asking her to go shopping, watching movies together, etc. Use these ways to make her happy and still have you by her side.
As for a girl who talks to you normally, she needs your support and understanding, so she cares about your feelings and pays attention to your feedback and interactions. As for interaction, it is the exchange of value, so this situation is the easiest and most flexible to solve.
If she encounters setbacks, you can provide her with advice;
If she encounters emotional problems, then you can share your experience with her and resonate with her;
If she is simply in a bad mood, just calling her out to play, eat and drink together can change her mood.
