The end of a relationship is not always due to a lack of love. Therefore, many people will still be unable to let go after a breakup. So what should you do if you have let go but your ex comes to get back together with you? What to do?
When many people think about this issue, they think too one-sidedly. It's just that the other person still likes me, and even though I let go, I still have feelings for the other person, so I hastily chose to be together again.
But what? The old emotional conflicts still exist. When the old conflicts break out again in a new relationship, what they bring to each other is never the motivation to solve the problem, but a kind of love from the bottom of the heart. Helplessness and despair.
After getting back together, the two people have once again verified that "each other is really not the right person"?
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Exactly not, what caused you to break up for the second time was actually not fate playing tricks on people, but the fact that old wounds were not healed and new ones were added.
You got back together because of impulse, but you did not rationally examine "What are the character flaws in each other? What are the unresolved problems in the past relationships?" Each other naively thought that "We are reunited again." Stand up", but as everyone knows, you are still making the same mistakes in the same quagmire.
So what kind of relationship is worth getting back together with?
Then you might as well ask yourself a question, "Even if you get back together, what is the best outcome of this relationship?"< /p>
Your ex was very affectionate when he got you back, but he still can’t change his nature of being a philanderer and riding a donkey to find a horse;
Your ex was very attentive when they reunited, and he always said what he said. "I can give you a clear future", but he still goes his own way, lacks ambition and settles for the status quo;
His ex said "he can solve the problem by himself", but you are still in different places and he can't give you anything. A clear end date, in the end you will still have to repeat your old life...
If you get back together, The best ending is nothing more than to return to the original state of life. Then there is really no point in reconciling such a relationship. Even if both parties agree, they will still be exhausted mentally and physically by the same problem.
To put it bluntly, what kind of relationship is worth getting back together with?
It’s not about repeating the old life with an old person, but about being able to treat each other as a new person and start a new life together. journey.
If before getting back together, each other has no correction or plan for the relationship, and is still unwilling to grow and shirks responsibility, it is very true that even if you fall in love again, the relationship after getting back together will continue to fray. Lose your love and patience, and the short-term reconciliation is just a prelude to the next breakup.
So, do you understand?
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Use your heart to fall in love and your brain to think about getting back together. There is no need to torture each other for feelings that are destined to be fruitless.
So before you consider “whether to get back together”, if you don’t have a clear measurement standard and direction, then I suggest you start from the following aspects:
1. Why did we choose to break up? Was it because of a momentary emotional conflict or a long-planned decision by the other party?
2 , How to find a way out of unresolved problems and create a new love atmosphere?
3. In the past relationship, what character flaws did each have that the other could not accept?
4. What are the subjective and practical pressures that are currently causing the breakup? (such as long distance, future planning, etc.)
5. Do the two parties have different views on money and savings during conflicts? Conflict?
6. Can both parties honestly state their emotional needs? (including preference needs and fear needs)
7. Can they really form effective communication with each other in the future? And treat the ideas and positions of both parties equally?
8. Do both families have prejudices and misunderstandings about each other's love?
9. Do both parties have extreme character flaws? (Such as cheating, domestic violence, etc.)
10. Do you really still love this person? Is this person really the person you desperately want to spend your life with?
These ten This question does not require you to answer "yes or no", but to think carefully about each question "Have the two parties had conflicts due to these issues in their past experiences? If so, how should they be resolved in the future?" Avoid. "
If you don't have the patience to analyze or even read these ten questions, then don't think about it. You are not suitable for getting back together at all. It is best to start a new life separately. Good solution.
You must understand: What recovery requires is rationality, which is to tell each other "we can start a better relationship" rather than Blindly prove "how much you love the other person and how loyal you are."
Therefore, if you don’t want to get back together at all, then you must reject the ex who comes to you from the beginning. Accomplishing the other person will also be considered responsible for your future life.
There is really no need to hang on to your ex, and there is no need to cultivate your ex into a spare tire.
If you are willing to get back together, and your ex also takes the initiative to redeem you, then I suggest that you "conduct detailed and systematic communication and analysis with each other about the above ten issues" to prepare for a new relationship. Make the minimum plan for your relationship.
There is really no need to rushIn the end, they may have wasted each other's time and energy, and ended up in a relationship that was physically and mentally exhausting.
