Although many boys look normal on the outside, they actually have very low self-esteem on the inside, and low self-esteem can seriously affect people's social interactions. Many boys are not aware of this problem and think that their own hardware conditions are not good enough and lead to their failure in love. In fact, inferiority complex is the cause of all social failures. What should boys do if they have low self-esteem and dare not fall in love?
1. Adjust subjective consciousness
Freud mentioned in the classic theory "Theory of Causes" that human suffering is caused by past trauma, and the past is the cause of present misfortune. But you can choose whether to let it determine your life.
To put it simply, if you want to change yourself, you must properly forget some bad experiences in the past.
For example, the experience of being rejected before. It doesn't necessarily mean that you are too bad, it may also be that the other person really has poor vision.
You can say to yourself: "None of this is your fault, it's all over."
p>2. Establish self-worth
First of all, you must know how to care for yourself and be good at discovering your own strengths.
Think more about what you are good at, and don’t take other people’s rejection and denial as evidence that you are not good enough.
You can say to yourself: "I am who I am, no matter what others think of me, I will correct what is wrong and continue to insist on what is right."
At the same time, learn to gradually focus on Move to something you are interested in or good at.
For example, if you are tone-deaf but have a strong sense of art, you can consider painting.
For example, if you don’t have a lot of money but are considerate enough, you can take more care of the other person’s emotions and make some touching details.
For every small progress, you might as well give yourself an affirmation and reward.
For example, make a meal of skewers and buy yourself a small gift. In this way, the sense of self-worth and identity will be continuously improved, and the sense of inferiority will be reduced.
Secondly, learn to satisfy your own needs first.
When someone asks you for help, you can first ask yourself: Do I know her well? What can I gain by meeting her needs?
If she is not that important to you, or you get nothing out of helping, then you should satisfy your own needs first, and then satisfy the other person's needs when you have time.
You must be brave enough to refuse people, things, and things that wantonly invade your time and energy.
Enjoy whatever you want, don’t exhaust yourself and end up with a thankless effort.
Finally, look the other person in the eye.
A person’s eyes can reflect information such as his character and current emotions.
If you dare not look at others, it often means inferiority and timidity. Looking at others squarely means telling them that I am sincere and confident.
3. Let go of the fear of the unknown
This is like chasing a girl before you start chasing her. , just think about what to do if you fail, what to do if the other party ignores you, what to do if you get cold feet, it’s basically over.
Confidence is the prerequisite for all success. Don’t dwell on things you haven’t done yet.
Xu Zheng once said in a speech: "When you have the courage to face up to your shortcomings, the attitudes of others can no longer influence you.
In fact, our encounter with inferiority , is just a misunderstanding. Don’t let inferiority complex become your excuse and trap your life.
Only by looking directly at it, facing it, and solving it can the problem be effectively solved. There will never be any escape. Result.
Of course, there are many types of inferiority complex. Some people are aware of it, some are not aware of it, some are severe and some are at a shallow level. Different people are at different stages.
Therefore, the best way is to use scientific methods to identify whether you have low self-esteem and to what extent, and then correct it based on yourself.
