For couples in love, quarreling is a way of communication. Without quarreling, there would be no running-in. Therefore, quarreling is a very serious thing, but you should also pay attention to how you handle it after the quarrel, otherwise it may hurt both parties. Human feelings, what should couples do when they quarrel?
Under normal circumstances, couples quarrel can be divided into three types, namely: purpose type, emotional type and premeditated type. The following will focus on these three types. Each type, teach you 3 tricks.
What should I do if a couple quarrels?
1. Emotional quarrel
Couple quarrel is the most common way of quarrel between lovers. This Quarrels don't have much purpose. Most of them are just to vent emotions. So when we realize that this situation is about to happen, we should stabilize our emotions as soon as possible. For example, when you want to get angry, you can ask yourself Three questions:
Is this matter really worth getting angry at, or even getting into an irreversible quarrel with the other party? Is my quarrel now because of the matter itself, or because I want to vent my emotions? We are quarreling. Will there be any harm to each other's feelings afterwards? Is this harm reversible?
When you think through these problems, your emotions will basically be stable. Next, you need to communicate with your lover. The communication process after a quarrel can be divided into three steps.
The first step is to describe the objective facts
Learn to be calm, and what you say is not about the situation but the person. Only describe the facts that have happened objectively, do not tell right and wrong, and do not make additional conjectures.
The second step is to express your feelings to the other party
That is, directly state your inner thoughts after the quarrel, but be careful to express your feelings rather than vent your emotions.
The third step is to put forward your specific requirements.
Specifically state the changes you hope the other party will make after this quarrel. Of course, the other party may also express their own opinions. , communicate according to the situation, and you can get along well with each other.
2. Purpose-type quarrel
Purpose-type quarrel means that both parties have different opinions and both parties have different opinions. You want to convince the other person and ask the other person to make changes for you.
Purposeful quarrels are the most likely to recur in quarrels, because even after the quarrel, the emotions of both parties are relieved, but the actual problem is not resolved, then the next quarrel will easily occur, and it will Intensifying.
The key to resolving purposeful quarrels is to address the needs of both parties. For example, a girl is usually very clingy and always asks you to accompany her, but you also have your own things to do, so the girl feels You gave her the cold shoulder and started a fight.
For a girl, her demand is that you spend more time with her, because she lacks a sense of security and is not interested in you.Generally speaking, you need personal space to complete your work.
At this time, you should understand each other’s needs through communication and then propose solutions.
Of course, purposeful quarrels are difficult to fundamentally resolve. After all, there are too many factors involved, and it is not possible for one party to make concessions to reach a settlement.
Therefore, the best way is to communicate more and try to find a balance point so that conflicts can be diluted.
3. Premeditated quarrel
Premeditated quarrel means that one of the parties has planned it for a long time. The first quarrel is in the hope of gaining some benefit.
In fact, premeditated quarrels are easy to judge and are foreshadowed.
For example, you may find that during this period, the other person's attitude towards you has become cold and perfunctory, and she always tries to deal with you in various ways, and then you can't bear to quarrel with her.
Regarding this kind of quarrel, no matter how hard you try, it will be in vain. If you still want to save the relationship, what you need to do is to directly find out the reason why the other party wants to break up with you. The specific method involves It’s time to repair the relationship.
