When a girlfriend cries, she needs a boy to comfort her and make her happy, but most boys don’t know how to comfort her to make her happy. Today I will share with you some techniques to comfort your girlfriend.
First of all, the most important first step in comforting someone is to ensure that the other person has someone who can fully expose themselves and feel at ease with you. An environment for talking.
Many people, let alone comforting others, are particularly poor listeners: when they convey information to the other person and hear the other person talking, their first instinctive reaction is to yell. Cut off the other person and summarize it: "Okay, I know that your matter is probably..."
Often when the other person sees you in this state, you will have this attitude towards yourself, and the other person will I will immediately stop wanting to talk to you.
There is a clear difference between interrupting others and guiding others. There is no need to argue. Don't say "I am guiding her" and interrupt others in an impatient tone or make a conclusion. The other party can hear it immediately.
Therefore, if you want to comfort your significant other, the most important thing is to patiently guide the other person to tell you what happened to them and why they are feeling uncomfortable when they talk to you.
"I'm here, you can tell me anything you want." This attitude is better than many words of comfort to others.
Secondly, there are three things you should not do when comforting someone:
① You keep telling the other person that it is nothing
② You start to compare yourself with the other person
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③You are telling the other person that this sad feeling is all due to her own reasons
The other person is here to talk, not to receive your criticism and education. Although many people are nominally comforting each other, in fact they always direct the topic towards themselves when comforting each other, and the focus is still on themselves.
Don’t think that the person you are comforting is just a child, and you need to tell her what is right and wrong. What is needed now is understanding and empathy - maybe after this period of emotion, she will be more rational than you and handle it better than you.
Therefore, the correct way to comfort is actually to let the other person vent their negative emotions. You only need to be by your side and tell the other person: "I'm sad too" and "I'm really wronged." "You are here" "What can I do for you?"... Give companionship and emotional support, but don't educate the other person.
In fact, it is different from what many people think: don’t be too anxious to divert the other person’s emotions.
When many people comfort each other, whether it is to make the other person get back into a good mood quickly, or to make sure that they themselvesThey really don’t have any patience anymore. At this time, they will often guide each other to transfer their emotions: "Don't be unhappy, I will take you to have a meal", "Okay, let's watch a movie together"...
If you If you have ever tried this method, you will definitely hear the other person tell you: Forget it, I'm not in the mood.
This is because, if you want the other party to transfer their emotions, you must prepare the ground in the first two steps. If the other party has not already After talking to you, you have not provided your emotional support, but have been educating the other person. At this time, if you try to divert the other person's emotions, it will only make the other person feel that you are impatient and that you did not listen to yourself.
Therefore, transferring emotions is something that needs to be left until you have completed the first two steps, otherwise it will be counterproductive.
This is the correct step to comfort the other party’s emotions:
First, guide the other party to talk and create an atmosphere where the other party can express themselves safely without being disturbed;
Then, do not interrupt the other party, do not try to educate the other party, and at this time continue to guide the other party to express their opinions and provide their own emotional support;
Finally, wait until the first two steps are done After that, try to divert the other person's emotions so that the other person will not be immersed in sad emotions all the time.
