When many people are chasing girls, in order to prove that they love each other, they will choose to give without asking for anything in return. However, such pursuit can easily make themselves a spare tire.
You must know that in a healthy intimate relationship, the feelings should be mutual, although both parties in love will not give equally in every dimension, and the ways of expressing love are also different. But in the overall relationship, two people should give back to each other.
If you still plunge headlong into a relationship knowing that it may not result in any results, then you may be falling into a one-sided, unrequited love.
1: Unrequited love is divided into two types
Generally speaking, unrequited love is divided into There are two ways. One is to know that the other party will not respond to you, and you yourself will not expect any response.
The other is the one who takes the initiative to give, but still has expectations and feels that he can receive a response from the other party. The second type of unrequited love is what most people have experienced, and it is also The one we focus on today.
Speaking of unrequited love, many people may find it unfamiliar. In fact, unrequited love also corresponds to a kind of person in a relationship, that is, the licker and the spare tire.
Two: Falling into the thinking of unrequited giving
In fact, when you fall into unrequited love, you are not ignorant. You will have a lot of anxiety and uneasiness in your heart. You don't understand why the other person is hot and cold, and you don't know what you should do to make the other person love you more.
In order to win the love of the other person, you may work harder than before. In the past, you paid 9 points for her.
Now you will pay 10 points or more for her, or change your own image and spend more time on the other person to please the other person.
But in fact, changes made in order to please the other person will not only not make the other person change his mind, but will actually make you more hurt.
Three: Reluctance is due to unwillingness
No one wants to be a licking dog or a spare tire in a relationship , you also want to get out of this unhealthy relationship, but there are two biggest obstacles that prevent you from leaving gracefully.
1. Substantial efforts that have not been rewarded, that is, your sunk costs;
2. Emotional needs that have not been responded to, that is, you are unwilling to leave like this.
So if you want to get rid of unrequited love, you can start from these aspects:
Four: How to get out of unrequited love
First of all, you must dare to expose your illusions, stop self-deception, and admit that the other person isI am really unwilling to respond to your affection. This false hope will keep you going in circles in this relationship.
Therefore, if you want to get out of the current situation, you must boldly admit to yourself that she does not love you.
Secondly, stop giving what you have given before.
If it does not involve a large amount of property, it will be difficult to recover it all even if you want to, so what you can do is not to let your sunk costs continue to increase.
I know that it is difficult for you to suddenly stop loving and giving to someone. At this time, you must learn to consciously reallocate your time and choose things that have nothing to do with the other person or love. Do it.
For example, reading, studying, exercising, playing games, hanging out with friends... After your energy is dispersed, you will find that love is not everything. Apart from the other person, you have a life elsewhere.
Five: Love is nothing but exchange
3. Re-examine your needs in love.
When you pester the other person, sometimes it’s not because she has to, but because you don’t know what you want, so you don’t want to change the inherent relationship and relationship mode.
But people and feelings will change. You have to know what you really need, which ones should be found in love, which ones should be found within yourself, and which ones can be found from the outside world.
Instead of putting all your needs on one person, you will not be able to appreciate the beauty of love and it will make the other person more painful.
Finally, respect the other party’s choice to leave. In reality, many problems can be solved through hard work, strategies, methods, and means.
But love is different. It has never been a matter of "where there is a will, there is a way." Faced with the choice of our lover to leave, we can fight for it, give up, and wait. In the same way, the other party can also You can have your own choices.
It doesn’t mean that she doesn’t love you, she is a bad person, nor does it mean that if you are broken up, you are not good enough. Maybe it is just that the fate is not enough, the relationship is not deep, and love without love is the norm in relationships. We can All you have to do is respect yourself and the other person, break up well, and then welcome the next relationship.
