Question: I have been with my girlfriend for two years, and we are planning to get married during the Chinese New Year this year. A few days ago, I accidentally learned that my girlfriend was once engaged to her ex, but they broke off the engagement due to various reasons. Now that we are getting married soon, should we let our parents know that our girlfriend is engaged to her ex? I'm very confused now and don't know what to do.
Answer: Some things are like this, If you can hide it for a lifetime, then you should hide it, which is considered a skill; the second level is, if you hide it now with a sense of luck, if the incident comes to light in the future, do you have the courage and confidence to face the consequences? For example, if there is a conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in the future, will your parents blame you for not saying anything at first? It will be you who suffers the consequences in the end.
From the current point of view, it is easiest for you not to tell your parents, and you and your girlfriend can get married smoothly. If you tell them, there may be some twists and turns, and they may even not agree to your marriage. Is this your worry? But if you conceal this matter and marry your girlfriend in secret, what will be the consequences if your parents find out about her past one day in the future?
For example, would you think your wife has a bad character and encourage you to divorce? I can't even see it.
At most they will ask you whether you knew she was engaged beforehand. They will want to know whether she also deceived you, or whether you knew in advance that with your acquiescence and participation, you and she deceived your parents. There is an essential difference.
If you tell the truth, you know about this, but you don’t mind. Under normal circumstances, since it is a done deal, parents will not make a big deal out of the matter. They will only say that since this is what you are willing to do. Choose, as long as you two live well. What I'm most afraid of is that your parents are too strong and you don't dare to disobey. If you don't dare to admit that you know the truth in the future, you will put all the blame on her, making it seem like she lied to everyone and takes the blame. , then her life would not be easy.
I have heard of such men who have no responsibility or responsibility, or who have been protected too well by their parents since childhood. Tell the truth. If you are in such a family, I suggest you be a good boy and don't lie. Because you can't afford the consequences.
Of course, many parents interfere in their children’s marriages because they feel that they eat more salt than you eat rice. Maybe your girlfriend cheated you to the point of being stunned, but they watched with dazzling eyes. To be clear, they are helping you avoid risks. Although it may not be 100% correct, it is also a rule of thumb.
This question varies from person to person. Your description is too simple. I can’t tell what kind of person you are. I can’t tell whether your girlfriend is mean-spirited and avoids the important things. I can’t tell what her previous experiences are. reveal your relationship with your parentsHow it is. Therefore, it is impossible to give a definite solution. The specific solution depends on your own situation.