A slap in the face cannot make a difference. The breakdown of a relationship is never caused by one person. Many times the breakup is due to differences in the relationship between the two parties. This is the case for Xiaoyu and her boyfriend:
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Although Xiaoyu has no education and a bad job, she has found a handsome boyfriend with a lot of money. He is also very kind to Xiaoyu. Whether it is money or time and energy, her boyfriend is willing to spend it. In Xiaoyu's case,
Many people envy Xiaoyu that he can have such a love, and think that Xiaoyu is so lucky to have met such a boyfriend, but no one knows. However, Xiaoyu thought about leaving her boyfriend countless times, because her boyfriend's controlling desire made Xiaoyu collapse.
1. Delete all contact information of the opposite sex
When you go to bed at night, you must turn on the video or voice . But on the premise that her boyfriend is not hanging up, Xiaoyu cannot hang up and must keep it on, even if Xiaoyu is sleeping. If Xiaoyu dies, her boyfriend will definitely go to Xiaoyu's house, find Xiaoyu, and then get furious.
So Xiaoyu had no choice but to cooperate with her boyfriend, but her boyfriend got even more serious and asked Xiaoyu to delete all the members of the opposite sex in social software. Except for her parents and relatives, there could not be any members of the opposite sex. Xiao Yu’s cell phone is checked every week.
The two have been in love for more than a year. Xiaoyu really couldn't stand her boyfriend's controlling desire, so she chose to break up.
Xiaoyu felt that she was finally liberated, but she did not expect that her boyfriend would make a fuss about their breakup. Everyone around her was accusing Xiaoyu, saying that he did not know how to cherish such a good man. Everyone is trying to persuade Xiaoyu to get back together with her boyfriend, and even her boyfriend will always criticize Xiaoyu and threaten Xiaoyu to return to him.
In the end, Xiaoyu couldn't bear the pressure from everyone and the pressure from her boyfriend, so he had no choice but to leave the city where he had worked for many years and disappear from his boyfriend's sight.
2. Strong possessiveness destroys freedom
Many people will make this mistake, even though they are special. I am afraid of losing the other person, afraid that the other person will be unhappy, but I always demand the other person in my own way. I feel that loving someone is possessive. If I want the other person to be unable to leave me, I have to cut him off from all relationships with the opposite sex.
But in fact, people all have rebellious psychology. When you control the other person, he will indeed cooperate with you because he loves you and will not have contact with other members of the opposite sex, but for a long time, he will control you. , it will make him gradually ignore your efforts and kindness. The other party will only see the side of you that oppresses him, and he will feel that your presence makes him lose his freedom.
Based on this psychological state, the other party will be interested in free property.If you have a strong desire, you will also feel disgusted with you, which will trigger the other person's rebellious psychology. The more you don't let the other person do something, the more the other person will want to do it.
Even the other person may think that you don’t trust him at all, and that you are questioning the other person’s feelings for you, and the other person will deny your efforts and mistake your love for your capital to control him. Gradually, in order to get rid of this control, he has the idea of ??leaving you.
Of course, in a relationship, it is impossible for only one party to be at fault. Just like the reason why Xiaoyu’s boyfriend intensified his efforts to hurt Xiaoyu, in essence, Xiaoyu also made certain mistakes:
3. Excessive indulgence and letting the other party do whatever they want
In a relationship, the reason why the other party will intensify hurt you and control your every move is precisely It's because you forgive him without a bottom line and cooperate with him again and again, giving him the capital to hurt you, and the way he loves you has become pathological.
So your behavior and your understanding gradually turn into connivance. He will feel that you can't live without him. No matter what he asks of you, you will do it according to his wishes. Then Naturally, he will not care about your feelings, become more and more selfish, and will love you in his own way.
As time goes by, the pressure you bear will become greater and greater, but in his eyes, the pressure you bear is the expression of loving him.
The final result is that you will become more and more tired, unable to bear the other person's control over you, and lose control of your emotions. But the other person thinks you are just making trouble unreasonably, thinking that you will eventually come back to him, and will not see your mistakes at all.
Therefore, if you want to maintain a relationship for a long time, you still need to understand and be considerate of each other. When correcting each other's mistakes, you must also reflect on yourself and solve your own problems.
