Actually, there is a secret to getting along as a couple. Let’s look at how many marriages have died due to uncontrollable tempers, and how many love relationships have ended due to inability to communicate. In fact, when a problem occurs, everyone will instinctively and habitually understand the problem from their own perspective and solve the problem in a direction that is beneficial to them. Nature cannot solve the problem.
When I was watching a video today, I accidentally saw a video of a teacher who was enthusiastic about education. This video is based on her own personal experience, telling that if a couple wants to have a good relationship and a happy and stable life, they must have a person with high EQ, high IQ, and downward compatibility with the other half. After watching this video, I was very moved and wanted to share it with everyone.
What is backward compatibility? Let me explain it to you using the real life of Teacher Li in the video as an example. After reading it, it will be of great help to your marriage.
Li is a knowledgeable and talented person who has always been committed to the relationship between husband and wife and the education of children. So in the family, she has always regarded herself as a teacher. Whether it's her lover or her children, whenever she sees something wrong, they will scold her and tell her a lot of truth. But Teacher Li’s lover listened silently every time, then took out a piece of paper and wrote down the solution to the problem in a very humble manner. For more than 20 years, Mr. Li has been speechless. So one day, Teacher Li asked her lover, why do I tell you every time, but you never tell me? Her lover just smiled and didn't answer. Teacher Li reflected, could it be that others were wrong and I was not wrong at all?
The result of reflection is that I am willful, domineering and aggressive. It is rare for a great educator in the eyes of others to have such deep thinking [laughs]. Then she deliberately asked her lover what her shortcomings were, but her lover smiled and replied, "You are very good. You have no shortcomings. Otherwise, how could I have what I have today?" Me? [laugh]. The answer was very considerate, but Teacher Li could tell it was a compliment, so he didn't ask any more questions.
Then I calm down and think about it, I am really good at it. Although he admitted his shortcomings, he still couldn't control his emotions and lost his temper when he got excited. Suddenly one day, Teacher Li realized that this was a serious problem, so she reflected on why her lover never talked about her? I finally understood that each person in a couple can clearly see the other's shortcomings. People with high EQ and high IQ will not focus on each other's shortcomings, but will silently help each other correct their shortcomings and become a better version of themselves. Accompany the other person to grow slowly, and give the other person enough time and space to understand and correct. This is called backward compatibility.
In other words, making a fuss and then laughing it off is the ultimate form of tolerance. A marriage without emotional burden is a happy marriage. However, high emotional intelligence and high IQ also need to be continuously improved.
Summary: Most of usMost of us don't realize this and are always caught up in our emotions. If you want to have a long-lasting and stable marriage, you must constantly improve your EQ and IQ. Don't be controlled by your emotions.
