Many boys have a please-pleaser personality. This personality is particularly obvious when chasing girls or falling in love. The result is that it is difficult to chase the person you like, and it is not easy to have a relationship, and this relationship is also very difficult. It is difficult to last long, so how to change the please personality and have a long-term relationship?
1. Change the effort Thinking that there must be an equal amount of reward and reward
Treat relationships as a process of supporting each other and getting better together, rather than a transaction in which payment and reward must be equal. Love is not a transaction, nor is it a burden.
We need to treat feelings with a long-term perspective, rather than treating feelings as an exchange of equal value. If you change your thinking of timely exchange of equal value, your mentality of getting along with your lover will be better.
2. Make yourself confident
Externally, facial expressions, body language, and speech Maintain a confident state of content and tone. Self-confidence comes from self-affirmation, and self-affirmation comes from your past successful experiences. Therefore, accumulating more successful experiences can make you more confident. In addition, when facing superiors, realize that you do not need to please them.
3. Emotionally independent and not attached to the other half
Everyone is an independent individual. Independence is also needed in relationships. No one likes the kind of love that doesn't have space for each other.
Putting your feelings entirely on your partner is a very dangerous thing. Not only will it put pressure on the other person, but you will also collapse once you break up.
Spend more time on things you can control, such as running your own circle well, doing your own work well, cultivating your own interests and hobbies, and establishing more emotional satisfaction. You won't worry about gains and losses when facing your lover.
4. Open your heart and try new models of intimate relationships
Generally, "pleasant personality" type This group of people is often related to their family of origin. Long-term blows or ridicule lead to people growing up to like to please others.
If you want to change this situation, you must overcome your inner fear, bravely make adjustments, and get rid of the influence of your original family. Through changes in the external environment and one's own strength, strive to get rid of the pattern of pleasing others.
Jiang Fangzhou once said: "Everyone has his own unique value. If you give up your own personality and value to create a personality that is liked by others, it means: you attract, People who don’t really appreciate you will always appreciate your pride.You look proud, not pretending to be humble and lovable. ”
In love, be an emotionally independent person, not attached to anyone. You are yourself, not someone’s background, let alone someone’s accessory.
