I don’t know why, but in the process of getting along with girls, I will always be praised by them as "you are so nice"! So much so that when you meet the girl you like, you will be praised by "you" if you want to be with her. You're a nice person, but we're not a good match." What's the problem?
This is a question a fan asked me recently. In response to this type of question, I found that many friends Everyone will encounter it, so today I will take it out to discuss it with everyone. Let’s take a look at what to do about “people always send good people cards”!
First of all, let’s take five questions to determine whether you are a "pleasant personality"
1. Pay special attention to other people’s opinions and evaluations;
2. You clearly don’t want to help, but you can’t refuse others’ requests;
3. When someone praises you, you feel at a loss;
4. In order to take care of others, you would rather suffer a little. Grievance;
5. Afraid of putting forward different opinions;
If you hit more than 3 points, you are probably a pleaser personality. In order to make others think you are nice, you often do You make yourself very tired, but in fact, others don’t care about your efforts at all, and they don’t know how much you have paid. You are “rewarding yourself”! Teach you 4 practical skills to get rid of this curse.
1. Understand that you will never satisfy everyone
First of all, you must learn to abandon the wrong mentality "I must do something so that everyone will like me"!
Just like you can’t like everyone around you, we can’t satisfy everyone, so let yourself go, and the right people will naturally become good friends.
2. Record something worthy of praise for yourself
Learn to affirm your own value, prepare a notebook or mobile phone memo, and record something worthy of praise for yourself every day, no matter how small it is. It will be all right.
For example, get up as soon as the alarm clock rings and focus on positive things. After two months, you will find that you have more shining points than you imagined.
3. Put forward your own needs
We can start practicing from small things, such as at the next dinner party, Firmly order a dish that you like, don’t say “I can do whatever you want”, when you feel you can speak it easily, then increase the difficulty step by step. When you start to express your opinions, that’s when others start to respect you. .
4. Learn to refuse
Rejecting others is the most difficult step, but if others’ requests exceed your requirements, or if they are used to bossing you around, you must refuse decisively. We can use The sentence structure of "empathy + rejection" makes rejection less blunt.
For example:
“I really want to help you, but I really can’t spare the time”
“I know this is difficult, but I am also very busy”
Learning to say no is to better manage your time and energy. This is one of the signs of maturity. We never need to please others to make everyone like you. What truly makes you popular will always be It is your own intrinsic value and charm.
