Many boys can’t find a girlfriend for a long time, and they start to doubt themselves, thinking that they can’t find a girlfriend because they have no ability. However, a person’s ability is reflected in many things, and it doesn’t mean that he can’t find one. If you have a girlfriend, you just don't have the skills. Having such an idea is a sign of lack of confidence.
People who think this way can be explained by the "attribution bias" in psychology. Attribution refers to our The process of making causal judgments about one's own or others' actions and behavioral results.
This can be discussed in two situations: 1. Fundamental attribution error: When people attribute their own or other people’s behavior, they often pay more attention to intrinsic traits such as personality or attitude, while ignoring the situation. factor.
For example, in the relationship between the sexes, how do we view people who have partners? Perhaps when discussing these people who have partners, we pay more attention to their appearance and emotional intelligence, but ignore their hardships in pursuing the opposite sex. . This is committing the fundamental attribution error.
The pros and cons bias of attribution: When people attribute their own behavior, they often attribute success to external factors such as opportunities and environment, and attribute failure to internal factors, such as their own incompetence and habits. Not good to wait.
To put it simply: success belongs to others, failure belongs to yourself.
Therefore, when a person has no partner for a long time, he begins to doubt his ability and feels useless. In fact, this approach is wrong. Whether a man or a woman, there are many things that can be done besides love.
If a boy can’t find a girlfriend and thinks he is useless, then he is really useless.
Because as an adult who should have an independent personality, the value of his existence is entirely dependent on whether he can be recognized by women.
No kidding, there are quite a few people like this.
Media public opinion often brainwashes men:
Women are everything to men. If a man can take good care of a woman, he is valuable; if he cannot get the approval of a woman, he is useless and a loser.
Many men who are not deeply involved in the world believe this. This kind of propaganda has led to the self-destruction of many men——
If a man can’t find a girlfriend and thinks he is useless, then he is really useless. On the one hand, their personality is not independent enough and they are too dependent on others; on the other hand, this mentality will cause them to be rejected by women, which will confirm their view of themselves.
