Everyone hopes to have a long and happy marriage, so when considering choosing a lifelong partner, it is inevitable to think about whether each other is the "right and like" person. So what kind of person is most suitable for marriage?
Let me share with you some rigid measurement indicators of marriage. When you are considering choosing a lifelong partner, you may wish to compare them.
1. Whether both parties have sufficient financial resources
Yes, the first thing to do when getting married is Look at the money.
You must have heard the saying "poor and lowly couples suffer all the consequences".
I have to admit that for many Chinese-style marriages, the house is one of the important sources of security for both parties. The car affects the quality and breadth of social interaction between the two parties, and the money is the last barrier against the risks of marriage.
But what really matters is not how much money you have before getting married, but whether both parties have the ability to continue to create wealth.
Although these things are not the most important in a marriage, they directly affect the quality of life of both parties.
If two people do not have the ability to create before marriage or after marriage, then any trivial matter that involves money is enough to make both parties exhausted and overwhelmed.
2. Do both parents have the same views on marriage?
For most Chinese-style marriages, It is said that more than 90% of young people must not avoid two things - "betrothal gifts" and "dowry".
Although many young people are unwilling to agree, it is a fact - a marriage that is not approved by their parents is often miserable.
How much betrothal gift should the man prepare? How much dowry should the woman give in return? Will the money belong to the small family, or will it belong to one parent? These things must be discussed properly before you choose a person to get married. .
In a sense, choosing a marriage without mother-in-law and daughter-in-law problems will often lead to much less torture than trying to influence your mother-in-law in a marriage.
3. Are the original families of both parties happy and healthy?
How to most effectively avoid your future marriage partner? Is it a Fu Di Mo or a Mommy’s Boy?
It all depends on whether the person’s family of origin is happy and healthy.
If you choose a man who has been too closely connected with your mother since childhood, then you will most likely face a situation where you and your mother-in-law will compete for your husband after marriage.
Or, if you choose a girl who has been pampered since childhood, then you will most likely face a princess-sick wife after marriage.
WhyAre there so many unhappy marriages?
To put it bluntly, it means trusting your partner too much and trusting yourself too much. I naively think that "the other person will definitely change after we get married", and I am overconfident in thinking that "the other person will definitely be willing to change for me because he loves me."
But what’s the result? Many people only realize after a few years of marriage that “some things are even more difficult to change after marriage if they don’t change before marriage.” If they think about divorce at this time, they simply can’t get divorced.
If you want to get married, the biggest responsibility for the marriage is to eliminate all hidden dangers before marriage. If you are not healthy from the beginning, it will only backfire on your marriage in the future. .
4. Is this person’s social circle clean?
From a behavioral psychology perspective, do you want To judge a person's income, character, and future potential, you can get a rough idea of ??the person by looking at the ten best friends around him and taking the average.
After all, the influence of the environment on a person is crucial. Most of the person's three views are condensed by the circle in which he lives.
If this person is surrounded by idle and unconventional people, no matter how well this person disguises himself, his true colors will be revealed within three years of marriage.
On the contrary, if the friends around this person are reliable, positive, and responsible, then the probability of this person is not much different.
In other words, the person you choose and his circle will also subtly affect you in the next few decades. In many cases, you cannot change a person's social environment, but you will be affected by this person's social environment. Social situations destroy you.
5. Whether each other has reached a sufficient balance before marriage
When it comes to love, for many young people, it is all about appearances.
Because two people will show each other the best side of themselves, but they will involuntarily hide many of their own dissatisfactions.
People who are neat and tidy when meeting may not even wash their socks at home. A person who is quite considerate on weekdays may not even pay utility bills in private.
You need to understand "the difference between a love partner and a marriage partner", "Talk about marriage" means that you have to spend at least forty years with a person day and night. Many daily trivial matters that are ignored by two people during their relationship may become the trigger for irreconcilable conflicts after marriage.
