Whether it is necessary to avoid suspicion in a relationship is an issue that has been debated endlessly. Some people feel that they cannot give up their friends and life once they are in love, while others feel that since they are in love, they should date all members of the opposite sex. Friends cut off contact. After all, many friends are just casual encounters, and the lover around you is the most important. Should we avoid suspicion in a relationship?
A few days ago, a friend broke up because her boyfriend didn't know how to avoid suspicion.
He is like a central air conditioner. He treats every girl in their office equally well. He will talk to them no matter what happens. He also brings breakfast to others and invites them to lunch. I told him It happened several times, and every time he said they were just friends.
One: Avoid suspicion
I also know that if I suddenly stop interacting with someone, it may affect him Popularity in the company, but can he avoid suspicion a little. It’s not like I don’t have friends. I know what normal relationships between friends of the opposite sex are like, even though he doesn’t have any actual deviant behavior.
But the things he said to others and the things he did for others were not what an ordinary friend should say or do.
He always says that I think too much, but why doesn’t he think about it? If he hadn’t done too many things for others that he shouldn’t do when he was in love with me, how could I have nothing to do? I think too much."
Two: Displacement Mechanism
There is a concept in psychology called the displacement mechanism.
When a person's emotions, desires When he cannot be satisfied, or is not allowed by himself or his morality, he will transfer this impulse to a safe person in order to relieve his inner anxiety.
For example, chatting with strangers of the opposite sex online. Some people think that making jokes with other members of the opposite sex, having fun in the virtual world, and not committing any substantive deviant behavior is not harmful. It's considered crossing the line.
In fact, such behavior has already stepped on each other's bottom line.
For a good relationship, knowing how to avoid suspicion and respect each other are the most basic. So how can you avoid suspicion so that your partner can feel at ease without going too far and affecting your own interpersonal relationships?
3: Correctly handle interpersonal relationships
Avoiding suspicion does not mean cutting off all relationships with the opposite sex across the board, but you can choose to distance yourself and keep in touch. If your partner is dissatisfied with your relationship network, or feels uneasy about your relationship with someone of the opposite sex, in this case, don't rush to defend yourself, and don't rush to distance yourself from other people.
Find an opportunity to sit down and have a good chat with your significant other.Regarding your views on intimacy, explore where the bottom line between you should be drawn, and then consciously avoid these minefields.
Four: Ways of giving a sense of security
It is undeniable that some people’s personalities do tend to He is a pleaser and does not know how to reject others. He is very popular among the crowd, but does not give his partner a sense of security. But when you enter an intimate relationship, you have to learn to give up some things, and to avoid suspicion, you should pay more attention to your partner's feelings, except for some important relationships that cannot be given up, and some dispensable interpersonal relationships.
If you make your partner feel uneasy, then you should take a step back and maintain a normal interpersonal distance from other members of the opposite sex.
In a healthy and long-term intimate relationship, there is never just passion, but also commitment and responsibility. If you want to get something, you must give up something.
Don’t let the word “friend” cast a shadow of ambiguity.
This is a kind of harm to you, your partner, and even your friends. Having a sense of proportion and knowing how to avoid suspicion are the standard features of a loyal partner. Do you understand?