Student question:
Hello, tutor, I am pursuing a girl. I was born in 1985 and she was born in 1993. We have known each other for four years. We are colleagues, but we have met at work. Very few. It felt fine before, but recently there have been a lot more topics, but it was just chatting, and I didn't feel like there was any big progress. I sent her a bag two days ago, and she happily accepted it. Yesterday I went to her place. Her mother and her friends opened a small shop. She was helping in the shop, but I had a cold and had to take four bottles of intravenous injections. After she knew the news, she was very concerned about me. I didn’t eat anything, so she Always asking me what I want to eat. But I think this situation has developed and I always feel like we are friends. I don’t know how to express my feelings to her. What should I do?”
< h2>Q&A:Let’s take a look at the chat history you sent:
Next we will Let’s analyze your chat interaction: The girl first asked you where you were going to eat. Because you had a cold, she replied: You won’t eat, you have no appetite. The girl looked at you and asked you doubtfully and with concern, and then you. She said: I’m sure I don’t want to eat.
Up to this point, the conversation was okay, but later she said: Okay, and continued to ask you: Are you leaving? Do you want me to send you off? She also had 3 expressions. From when a girl knows that you have a cold to when a girl knows that you don’t eat, her replies to you are always chatting with you in a “concerned” tone. Have you noticed? And in the last sentence: Are you leaving, do you want me to give you +3 emoticons? In fact, it can be seen that this girl has regarded you as her boyfriend by default, but she is shy and timid, and only dares to reveal the slightest bit of affection for you. The feeling of care and concern. These three expressions show that she actually took a lot of courage to make the decision to send you off. You have to know that it is rare for a girl to take such initiative. Especially when you haven't confirmed the relationship between boyfriend and girlfriend, it is already very proactive for a girl to behave like this.
But after a girl cares about you, you reply that you are welcome. In fact, this is not politeness from girls, but concern. When a girl sees you being so polite, she actually doesn’t know what to say, because she has already taken the initiative, but you are indifferent. I don’t know if it is because you have heard too many words about “controlling needs”, so you don’t dare to express it. What you like, express what you feel.
In fact, when a girl is very interested in us, we can release our needs little by little, so that the girl can know that you are actually interested in her, and your relationship will naturally get better. The girl then said: Even if you are busy, you still have to make time. It once again confirms that you are very important in the girl's heart, that is, she treats you as her boyfriend.
Next, let’s look at this chat record:
It looks like you were going to the hospital but didn't, and the girl still cares about you after knowing it. Judging from the content of your reply to the girl, use three words to describe "no feeling", "it doesn't matter", and "thank you" Being indifferent to girls' concern, being indifferent to catching a cold or getting sick, and thanking girls for their initiative will give girls a feeling that they are too upright.
Although this also shows that you are a reliable, loyal man, very honest and responsible, it may give girls a sense of security, and even make them feel cute and down-to-earth. Therefore, from a long-term perspective, being too straightforward may not be a good thing. 4. At 11:30 p.m. The girl continues to express her concern. She may have been busy with her own work before, but it shows that even if she is busy, she still remembers you and cares about you.
In fact, at this time, you can express your feelings directly to get closer and avoid becoming friends.
For example:
Take the above picture of you and Examples of girls’ chats: Girls: Have you left yet? I’ll see you off. Your reply is: You're welcome. This sentence is a way of replying to distance you. Girls are not polite to you, but care about you directly. And you think this is a girl being polite to you. So, when a girl says: I haven’t left yet, I will see you off. If you are really sorry that you don't want to go to a girl to see you off, you can say: Oh, you are so kind, but what can I do... (find a reason) Use the tone of a boyfriend to reply to a girl. This will bring you closer, because we have already known that girls actually treat you as a boyfriend in their hearts. However, most girls are reserved, especially when it comes to establishing a relationship. Confession is mostly done by boys.
Therefore, when a girl expresses her concern and interest in you, she can use words such as "baby" and "mommy" , or even when starting a topic, you can directly say, "I was just thinking about you, what were you doing~" You can send some words like this, so that the girl knows in her heart that you actually love her, you will think of her, and you have feelings for her, and that's it.
Then, if you don’t just want to be friends with her, but you want to get closer to her, you must be careful: don’t expect to get recognition from girls verbally. For example, some boys will Asking girls questions such as "Do you like me?" "Are we boyfriend and girlfriend?" This is a big mistake. We don't need to do this at all. We don't need to do this to gain the approval of girls. Not only will this It will make girls think that you are not confident, and it will also make girls think that you are very opinionated, immature, and do not understand her. And there is a bigger problem You put the responsibility of upgrading and advancing the relationship on girls. Girls are often embarrassed. Girls often have no way to talk to you."I will confirm the relationship, and you will be my boyfriend." Girls are reserved.
So in such a situation, it is actually very simple to express your feelings. For example, you can ask her out. If she is willing to go out on a date with you alone, then you can drink coffee and play together normally. Fun interactive game.
Although they are not explicitly said to be boyfriend and girlfriend, you can first do some things that boyfriend and girlfriend do, such as holding hands, hugging, or even kissing. This actually gives girls the feeling of being in love, that is, The “emotional” needs of girls just mentioned.
Doing this not only expresses your love, but the girl will also feel that you are a man who understands her, not a Boys who are too straight-forward, unromantic and not fun, only when they think about living together in the future will they feel that living with you is fun and happy. To sum up: Although you seem to be developing well with girls now. Girls take the initiative to express their concern and you can feel that girls treat you the same way they treat their boyfriends. However, pay attention to what I just mentioned and don’t mistakenly think that girls’ concern is A kind of politeness, which will make you look very ignorant of girls, very upright and straight. Also, don’t just acquiesce casually. You may acquiesce that you are not boyfriend and girlfriend yet, because you may think that “as long as the girl hasn’t said that I am her boyfriend, I can only be honest.” This will become the norm. Talk about the image of a "good man".
Therefore, you currently need to develop normally to ask her out, and then insert "ambiguous" elements into the chat process to give the girl the feeling of being in love and experience that you actually like her, too. Loving. In this way, your relationship will develop in a good direction and become a relationship between boyfriend and girlfriend. You don't need to use "materials" to express your feelings, such as 99 roses. This is a surefire way, that is, when you are completely sure When you are in a relationship, use this method to express your feelings openly, so that girls have a medium to accept the reality that you are together. In this way, by taking a two-pronged approach from "emotional" to "material", you will actually be able to establish a relationship very quickly.