Question: I recently met a girl on a blind date. When I send her messages, I either don’t reply directly, or I reply after a few hours. I don’t refuse or accept. I feel that I am very humble in the blind date. No matter whether I accept or reject, We don’t even have the most basic respect for each other. If the girl on the blind date has this attitude, do I still need to continue?
Is it okay to have a blind date girl who is very cold when chatting on WeChat?
Answer: The root cause of the blind date girl’s cold WeChat chat is that she doesn’t like you. But there are fundamental differences in how men and women deal with the matter of "not liking it." Men tend to establish a relationship as soon as possible if it works, and withdraw as soon as possible if it doesn't work. The expression is "If you can talk, let's talk well; if you can't, then push it aside." Women tend to wait and see, nurture and nurture first, and then make contact. What is shown is "coldness, non-rejection, and non-acceptance".
The reason for this difference is the difference in the core holding costs of the relationship between men and women.
What are the main costs for men?
Qian: There’s nothing more to say, right? I’m sure the boss won’t be able to get away from you during a meal or date.
Energy: Don’t you have to make overall arrangements for what to eat, what to talk about, and what to play?
What are the main costs for women?
Time: After being on a blind date for a long time, the word "older age" is basically considered offensive to women.
Compare and you will find out. A man's core cost is basically consumed every time he goes on a blind date, every date, or even every time he chats. Right, there is no date that you should spend money and energy on arranging and maintaining the chat status. No solution.
Women’s core cost of “time” is also spent when chatting, dating, and even in love. But there is a solution to this. Why older women are anxious when going on a blind date is because the core cost of "time" is being consumed. So many people came up with a solution - ride a donkey to find a horse, or even ride multiple donkeys at the same time. If the time cost of "one-to-one" is spread to "one-to-many", wouldn't the average cost be smaller? If she only stares at you, she will definitely spend a lot of money. But with several people attached at the same time, the cost is infinitely diluted.
Many women on blind dates are procrastinating and unwilling to confirm the relationship because confirming the relationship means responsibility. And she is not willing to accept your current conditions. If you try to find a horse after establishing a relationship, the pressure from public opinion will increase significantly. Therefore, "don't express your position, don't accept, don't refuse" is the current optimal solution for women. Not only can you enjoy the resources of spare tires, but at the same time you don’t have to bear the responsibility and pressure of riding a donkey to find a horse. Even if you really don't find one you like in the end, you can still settle for the next best thing and go back to the original tire. It doesn't matter if the spare tire can't hold up and runs away, just replace it, and it won't cost you anyway. Advance to attack, retreat to defend.
But maleNot so with sex. Every blind date is a real cost. If you want to hang out with multiple girls at the same time, it's not impossible. But to maintain a relationship, you must at least have dates and at least keep chatting. Just looking for a topic to chat takes up a lot of energy. Not to mention what to eat, what to play, and what to give, which consumes both money and energy. Therefore, when men are dating, they pay attention to being short and quick. If they like each other, they will get in touch, and if they don't, they will kill each other immediately.
As for whether it’s okay to say that the blind date girl is very cold when chatting on WeChat, then you can continue to contact her and see if she will become enthusiastic about you one day.
